Well, I’ll be a dirty bird.
Roll me in eleven herbs and spices and call me Kentucky Fried. I’m shocked and appalled. Outraged. Think of the kids.
I think I’m getting ahead of myself.
Last week, people on Parliament Hill and the handful of viewers of Stunned News were subjected to the moral outrage of Sun TV staffers spewing spittle on their camera lenses because the CBC was peddling soft-core porn on a Radio-Canada web site.
Seems Radio-Canada had a partnership deal with an outfit in France to produce a soft-core romp comedy called Hard, which centres on some chump who inherits a porn magazine business. Sun denounced the entire CBC and trashed them for using taxpayers’ money for smut that’s posted for easy viewing by your kids and mine.
I’m very happy that the Sun folks troll the Internet looking for porn. I know there is some out there, so I am always glad when someone takes the bullet for me and warns me off smut sites. I’m sure my adolescent children don’t look at porn on the Internet, but that could change. Thanks, Sun TV, for looking out for them.
My gratitude turned to rage when I picked up a free copy of the Ottawa Sun, mere blocks from one of the city’s high schools. Left in a coffee shop for anyone to pick up, this newspaper had (except for some World Cup skiing results),a page of ads for actual prostitutes.
Not softcore porn.
Not hardcore porn.
Actual sweating, grunting, rutting whores who are eager to seduce our young people and break up our families.
And it gets worse. (I’ll get to that later.)
Let’s see what’s on offer in the Sun’s classifieds.
There’s the gay cruiseline. Nothing wrong with that, but I don’t want my six-year-old to read it. And an ad for Shemale Suzy Hung. Not sure what’s going on there, but it looks too complicated for me to figure out over just one coffee.
There’s the eager Mistress Whitney, offering “Exp’d Dom & Fantasy” which sounds vaguely Italian. And one ad had the heading GRAND OPENING, which is not only suggestive but rather daunting.
You can get take-out or eat in. You can bring your spouse, or two people can come to your house. You can get girls whose parents can’t spell, people like Katerine, Lany, Jordyn and Ashlyn.
Here’s where it gets worse. Some of these vermin are actually hiring.
Yes, the Ottawa Sun is engaged in a campaign to lure our daughters, our wives, our sisters, our mothers, and maybe our little brothers, into a life of whoredom. That’s why, when the Sun newspaper delivery guys come by my house, I will set the dog on him.
Unfortunately, my dog is a female. They probably want to recruit her, too.
I don’t know what’s happened to morality in this country. Where, oh where, is the idea of a “family newspaper?”
While I do thank the Sun for trolling the Internet and protecting me from inadvertently stumbling on taxpayer-funded filth, I simply cannot forgive them with sprinkling whore recruitment ads around our high schools and on city busses.
Enough is enough, I say. Someone should pass a law.